Top Ten Ways To Set Appropriate Expectations For Dating
|
1) Give yourself time to get back into the groove of dating
If you haven't dated in a while it may require an investment of time and effort on your part if you are ultimately looking for a soul-mate. As we get older and learn from our experiences our requirements for an ideal mate may change and some things that were must haves may become negotiable. Getting dating experience helps with clarity around what is and is not negotiable in a mate. Detach from how long you think it ought to take to find your soul-mate.
2) Develop a "catch and release" program which supports your quest for an ideal mate.
Remember if you're dating someone you really enjoy AND deep down know they are not "the one" ? by keeping this person in your life hoping they will magically become "the one" ? it keeps them and YOU from being open for the real "one". Don't be afraid to adopt a catch and release program if it's not perfect, for you. Just maybe your ideal mate is waiting for you to become available!
3) Be irresistibly YOU!
At the end of the day ? when people fall in love ? it's because they feel they know the "real you". Why wait until later to reveal who that person is ? start being YOU in every moment. Others may just find you irresistibly attractive!
4) Say?I'm curious?
The best way to get to know someone is to be curious about life through their eyes. We can never have the same experiences because we view life through our own filters and our own conditioning. So be curious ? find out what makes the other person light up! What they are passionate about!
5) Who says dating can't be fun?!
Have FUN!!! Adopt an expectation of fun. When you are having fun the best of you is coming out to play. Isn't that a great way to enjoy yourself and time with others? What a wonderful gift to share with another human being ? you being your best and most fun?! Your future happiness depends on it!
6) Tell me more?
Ask questions and be a good listener. Get to know the real person you are sitting across from. Being drilled with "interview" questions is not a good relating technique! Being interviewed on a date creates a hostile environment and puts the other person on the defensive. Relax and remember have fun and enjoy hearing about life from another perspective. Listen for cues when the other person speaks for a good next question. Let the conversation flow.
7) Rescue ME!
Don't expect your date or your soul-mate to rescue you from your life. Entering into a healthy relationship means both parties come together as whole human beings and together you become even more amazing. If you are needy you may attract exactly what you don't want and repel what you do want.
8) It all makes sense!
Each of us has our own unique life purpose. Remembering that gives, having judgment or controlling others, quite a different perspective. Having others do things your way may not always help them with their own life lessons or you with yours!
9) Neeeeeext?!
Be accepting of others. This does not mean that every person is a right match for you nor does it mean inappropriate behaviors are overlooked. It means you have a choice of whether to see this person again or not. Listen to your own intuition.
10) What's the big rush?this is your life we're talking about!
Take your time getting to know this new person in your life. Resist the urge to marry your date, in your mind, on the first (second, third??) date. Engaging your emotions before you have enough information will hinder your ability to notice relationship red flags.
About The Author
This piece was originally submitted by Jane Johnson, a certified life coach who has experienced the world of internet dating. After a nearly 20 year hiatus from dating, she immersed herself in the activity. The following are tips from her observations, interviews and personal experiences. You can reach her at www.doingcoolstuff.com
|
|
|
Dating Mistakes
Are you dating or in a serious relationship? Did you realize that very often we make the same dating mistakes over and over again? As outlined in my book "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" sometimes these mistakes can lead to losing the date ...(related: Dating)
A Guide For Being Single In Mimasaka, Okayama Prefecture
"A Tsuyama singles scene?" scoffs single Mimasaka resident Hiroyiki Matsuda. "There isn't one. If you want that, you go to Okayama City."Farmer Toru Mizushima, 55, echoes the statement."I don't even go there as far as Mimasaka's concerned," he says. "I've lived in Mimasaka for 18 years, raised a family, and can tell you there just isn't a singles scene - it's a family-oriented town. T...(related: Dating)
Dating Tips That Work- Which Of The Three Types Of Women Should You Be Dating?
When most "dating gurus" and sex therapists spout their dating tips, they often complicate the whole process with unusable theory and psychobabble.I'm going to by...(related: Dating)
Ten Great Holiday Dates For Singles
Dating during the holiday season can be a special treat. Of course, in order to fully experience this you may need to re-order some priorities and make time for yourself and your own personal needs. Don't give into the temptation to put your social life on hold unt...(related: Dating)
From Friend To Boyfriend
One of the most frequent questions I am asked is "How do I go from being a friend to being a boyfriend?". I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that this is easy to do, but it can be done. T...(related: Dating)
Blind Date
Very few singles have ever gone through life without having a friend, relative or coworker try to set them up on a blind date. While a blind date is sometimes referred to as a 'first impression' date, people shouldn't associate so much pressure with a blind date. While it is always a good idea to look nice on any first date including a blind date, it is far more important for people to be themselves. If a person is seriously looking for a person to have a relationship with, they are not going to want to attract a person for pretend behavior and unnatural looks.Committing to a blind date doesn't have to be a frightening thing and avoiding blind dates altogether could mean a person could be missing out on meeting someone very special. Since someone a person kno...(related: Dating)
Gay Dating Tactics: Your First-date Dos & Donts
IntroductionNothing gets the heart pumping quite like the nervous anticipation that goes along with going out on a first date with a guy. Whether it's a blind date or someone you're already acquainted with, the first meeting with a dating prospect brings with it a host of emotions, more commonly a mixture of excitement and nervousness. As the pivotal moment approaches, thoughts can become centered on such questions as: "Will he like me?" "Will I like him?" "Is he going to be The One?" "What if I mess things up and make a fool of myself?" "What will I talk about? What if I run out of things to say?"Everyone's experience is different, but the one common denominator that most daters would testify to is that it can be di...(related: Dating)
Are You Considering Online Dating?
Jody's quest in finding a suitable partner for marriage seemed impossible. She found the singles scene at clubs to be uncomfortable and her social circle seemed to consist of more married friends with a shrinking number of singles.Although she has heard of internet dating and have seen the ads for...(related: Dating)
Dating Advice For Men: Why Some Women Like Em Younger
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Madonna and Guy Ritchie. Your old high school English teacher and... your best buddy?! Hey, it could happen. These days, if an older woman wants a baby, she can have one.There will always be the Traditional Tina, scoping out an older fella who's "on her maturity level" as she likes to think- and who's willing to play provider. But what of the ever-growing population of footloose women with their crazy cradle-robbing ways? Is this another Maggie May, who, as Rod Stewart tells it, will "wreck your bed, and in the morning kick you in the head?" Or i...(related: Dating)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | All Rights Reserved. | Dating