Finding Compatible E-dates
|
In the world of online dating misrepresentation is at an all time high. Janice, a fitness enthusiast, was excited about her e-mail exchange with Rob. He seemed to share her interest in fitness and the outdoors. They wrote about mountain biking, skiing and golfing. Rob suggested an interest in these activities, but never mentioned once having engaged in any of them.
When Janice and Rob met it became apparent that he was not a fitness or outdoors enthusiast. In real life he also looked much older than in the picture that accompanied his online profile. He had misrepresented himself to impress Janice. Needless to say, they parted after their first face-to-face encounter with mixed feelings. Discovering incompatibility in e-mail exchanges becomes much easier if you follow these tips:BE TRUTHFUL in your own description. While mingling among singles in a highly competitive environment you may be tempted to paint your very best picture. Putting your best foot forward does not mean inflating your image or exaggerating in your profile. The key to finding a compatible love is being authentic instead of pretending to be what you are not. Being real may not guarantee a huge number of online dates, but if you are serious about, love the bottom line is quality, not quantity. To find a like-minded date, don't play games. When your profile rings true, you will probably attract someone who is also truthful.
DIG DEEPER once you have begun your email exchange. Ask questions about his or her life, values, beliefs, hobbies, likes and dislikes. Rephrase your questions in subsequent e-mails and compare the answers. Continue to go back to the person's profile and look for discrepancies. For example, to verify a person's age, ask when they either left high school or graduated from university. To find out if he or she really loves hiking, ask where they usually hike. To check employment, ask what he or she does during a regular workday and if they enjoy their work. Aaron believed he was e-mailing the kindest girl until he asked Kyra about her relationship with her sister. Kyra electronically flew off the handle calling her sister names. Aaron new then that he did not like the other Kyra he had just been exposed to. The only thing you risk by asking questions is that your new e-mail friend will drop "out of the loop."
BRING UP ISSUES that are important to you. If one of your priorities is family, talk about your respective families. It won't take long to find out if this is a shared priority. If you love traveling, raise this topic to see if there is excitement or if he or she has even boarded a plane. Perhaps education, knowledge or current issues are of great interest to you. In that case, raise these matters in your dialogue to probe his or her awareness and interest. A healthy lifestyle might be important to you. Talk about it! There is no point in involving yourself with someone with no interest in a healthy lifestyle. Whatever your values, beliefs or worldviews, use the e-mail exchange to reflect on these issues. Read between the lines. We all have a tendency to read or see things we like, even when they are not there. This practice will help you to determine compatibility early in the game. Shared values are important ingredients for long-term commitment.
REMEMBER the reason why you are meeting someone online. If you just want to increase your circle of friends, by all means have fun and meet everyone. If you are searching for the love of your life, be selective and dig deeper. Don't waste each other's time. Far too many singles have depleted their dating energy by e-mailing all night long with people who they would never introduce to their parents. Be smart and cut to the chase!
© 2004 Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert, Coach, Speaker and the Author of "Are You Fit To Love?" ISBN 0-9720227-9-1. Her articles are published in magazines and newsletters. She has appeared on radio and TV. Visit her website at www.fit2love.com
Allie Ochs is a speaker, relationship coach and author of: Are You Fit To Love? Her book has received the honorable mention at the USA 2004 Best Book Awards. She has appeared on TV, Radio and is published in numerous magazines and newsletters. Visit her website http://www.fit2love.com and take the Fit 2 Love test.
|
|
|
How To Find A Great Dating Partner And Have Fun Looking
Internet dating can be great fun for you. It is an easy and painless way to meet some great people you might not normally meet. It seems that today people are working much more than in the past. When you are ready to g...(related: Dating)
E-matchmaking: Can A Computer Program Find Love For You?
I logged on to a dating site the other day and was greeted by a large, flashing message. It promised that if I took the time to answer a series of questions that they would find a "perfect match" for me. Imagine that? All the work and worry of being single - gone! We truly have evolved! Not only can computer programs manage the entire traffic system of a city and make chess grandmasters cry, but now they can lead my perfect match right to my...(related: Dating)
Best Places To Go On A Date
Does the waiter know how you like your steak, and more about your love life than you do yourself? You are stuck in a "boring-dates syndrome"! Or perhaps you are conducting a psychological experiment on the people you date, and trying to keep the environment constant... It is at least good your haven't just given up on trying yet! Perhaps this is not quite you, but you do feel bored with your dating life, or you stopped dating all together.Generally people do stop dating after being in a relationship for a while, there is no reason to, however it tends to happenbecause people end up doing the same things over and over again which ends up being more boring than ju...(related: Dating)
Does No Mean Yes?
A recent sexual assault on our campus was a wake-up call to those who thought that our small-town university was safe. But rape by strangers is only one aspect of the problem. What about acquaintance rape and date rape?One study found that 25% of the female college students surveyed had at least one experience of forced intercourse, and that 93% of these episodes involved acquaintances. College administrators and campus police estimate that date rape or acquaintance rape happens to one-fifth of college women, and one-fourth of college women will experience either attempted or completed forced sex.This is something we all need to discuss and decide, one by one, what we can do about it. And Christians on campus need to be prepared to offer more than scriptural "Thou shalt not's." "Just say no" is no mor...(related: Dating)
8 Things That Maketh Not The Lady
1. Tattoos.Tattoos used to be the colouring of soldiers, sailors, mafiosi and punk rockers. About ten years ago, they became fashionable. The lower-middle classes started taking them up....(related: Dating)
10 Important, Easy Dating Rules To Ensure Your Success
1) Leave the mobile phone off! Do not answer it if it is on Silent either. You should only do this if you are expecting an emergency and I mean an emergency. You only look like a deadhead, self-centred fool answering a phone at a meeting that is important and that goes for all meetings. It's inconsiderate and breeds contempt from the other party even if they agree to you answering it. They're only being polite which you're not, if you do have a ringing phone and answer it. This does not mean leave it at home - you may need it later.2) Don't smoke anything in the presence of others unless they also smoke and for goodness sake make sure that no on...(related: Dating)
What You Must Know About Dating A Non Christian
Inevitably, when the topic of dating comes up among Christian teens, the question that always seems to come up is, "Can I date a non-Christian?"Most of the time, the typical verse that is used to answer their question is 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, which says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"Knowing that you aren't supposed to date non Christians is one thing, but actually understanding why t...(related: Dating)
Secret Dating Tips - Top Secrets Of A Sex Magnet
In any group of girls, there's usually one who's getting all the attention. You know, she's really animated, talking a lot, outgoing, a lot of guys are hitting on her. You can bet some of the other girls in the group are kind of shy and are feeling left out and a bit jealous - and they're dying for th...(related: Dating)
Dating Tips: How To Get Yourself A Date
Well, if you didn't give that someone a bad impression of yourself, chances are, both of you would be already friends at least? A friend, not being dislike by him or her? Ok, now it's the time you can progress a little further, taking a little more actions. But before so, it might be good to take notes of the followings:For Guys, please understand that girls enjoy the process of being pursued. You have got to play this game well. Take things at a step; let the rhythm flow gradually and smoothly. Let her enjoy the process; make her feel that very value that's within herself.For girls, do note that guys generally like girls who are more gentle and caring. Don't be too fierce scaring the guys away. Likewise, don't always put on that cold swanky look. Guys are generally not very patient cr...(related: Dating)
10 Important, Easy Dating Rules To Ensure Your Success
1) Leave the mobile phone off! Do not answer it if it is on Silent either. You should only do this if you are expecting an emergency and I mean an emergency. You only look like a deadhead, self-centred fool answering a phone at a meeting that is important and that goes for all meetings. It's inconsiderate and breeds contempt from the other party even if they agree to you answering it. They're only being polite which you're not, if you do have a ringing phone and answer it. This does not mean leave it at home - you may need it later.2) Don't smoke anything in the presence of others unless they also smoke and for goodness sake make sure that no on...(related: Dating)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | All Rights Reserved. | Dating