Fatal Flaws- How To Have A Happy Relationship And Keep Your Values Intact
|
If you are knee deep in trying to find a relationship, maintain or sustain a relationship then you need to think seriously about your Fatal Flaws. Not your own mind you, but those that are demonstrated by that really cute guy/girl you are considering getting into "bed" with, literally and figuratively.
Fatal Flaws are the deal breakers for you. They are traits that given a cool head and some common sense, you would say to yourself and anyone else who might listen, "there is no way I could ever be with someone who does this"! Sometimes, you can be alerted to these Fatal Flaws, with your early warning system - Red Flags, but once the Pheromones and Endorphins have been released, and you've started to fall into never never land, those Fatal Flaws don't seem quite so important anymore. Wait a minute Coach Frankie, if we know this, what can we do to stop it?
Well my friend, that's what is coming next, but first, a little lesson in science called "know thyself"!
I want you to take a reality check right now, and I want you to promise that for the next 10 minutes you will think with cool reason instead of with the heat of passion.
Right now you are an objective observer of human behavior, a sociologist in Relationship Land.
As scientists, (remember this from Grade 9) we need to state a hypothesis. Well our Hypothesis states that " A leopard can't change his spots", people for the most part do not change their core "behavior" Their modus operendi so to speak.
So given this as our hypothesis, I want you to make a table of columns and write down on one side- behaviors that you do not want your mate to demonstrate EVER, and on the other side, the traits that you are looking for in your dream mate
Fatal flaws Dream MateLying Always tells the truthCheating Believes in fidelityCoach potatoe Exercises daily
I think you get the idea. When you first meet someone, they may seem perfect at first blush, but it is important to look for the signs on their landscape that will tell you a bit about your future with them. Really listen when they speak. Do they make derogatory comments about other races? Is this something you can live with or not? For me, this would be a fatal flaw. Do they smoke? Unfortunately, this would be a fatal flaw for me as well, unless they were prepared to quit immediately. I don't want the heartache of falling for someone who smokes knowing that I can't stand it. Remember I said to know thyself? Well I know that I would always be on their back to quit and would turn into an unpleasant nag. That is not who I want to be in a relationship and I am sure that this is not an image that you would want to project either. How do you stop it?Learn to know yourself and your own behaviors.Once you have finished filling in your table, post it somewhere close by and be true to it. You don't need someone so badly that you have to compromise your values to have them.I KNOW YOU DON"T!!! No one does.Be true to yourself. Know in advance what you are willing to compromise on, and what you are not.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate! I cannot stress this enough.When the first red flag appears- ASK your "friend" about it. It may be a misunderstanding and it may not. If it is not a misunderstanding, then bail out,do it quickly and cleanly. This is for your own good. In the end, you will save yourself months of torment and anguish.When it comes to relationships, it is ok to be selfish. I don't mean that you should be selfish in a relationship, but I do mean you should be selfish (remember that wish list we just completed) while searching for one.
Coach Frankie
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. anonymous
Frankie Picasso is an Entrepreneur and Customer Service Expert who has spent the past 20 years in Marketing and Customer Service consulting for both Public and Private Sector organizations. She is now a Motivational Speaker, Certified Master Trainer Coach in Leadership and Executive Business Coaching as well as a Professional Certified Life Coach with her company called Conversation with My Shoes.
|
|
|
Dating While Seeking God- A Road Less Traveled
Why is it when it comes to dating that we go fromone relationship right into another, searching forsomething from someone that only God is capable ofgiving us? Why do we think that leaping intoanother courtship will c...(related: Dating)
Mens Guide To Online Dating Success. Secret Seduction Tips Revealed!
Looking To Meet Women? Craving Female Company?Well, you've come to the right place! The internet is an ENDLESS supply of quality ladies for you to date and have a lot of FUN!Regardless of your situation, age or looks, YOU can do this!Bored of sitting at home on the weekends and going to bed alone?How would you feel if you could meet and seduce women as often as you liked?How much confidence and sense of well being...(related: Dating)
Christian Dating Service And Dating Services
A Christian dating service can help single Christians meet one another and find companionship that is based on Christian principles and foundations. A Christian dating service can help thousands of Christians meet, and sometimes marry, others who share their values and faith. The Internet is an incredible access point for those looking into dating services. Now, most dating services begin with online applications and postings, letting email be the beginning point of a contact. Not every Christian dating service has the same philosophy, and not all dating services truly have a m...(related: Dating)
Pick-up Lines That Work
Most pick-up lines don't work because they are trite, cheesy, and closed-ended statements. Others don't work because of their overt sexual overtones. The pick-up lines that do work tend to follow the three immutable rules:1) The pick-up line should be in the form of a question.Most pick-up lines are just stale closed-ended statements. Take for instance the pick-up line: "Baby I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can cake your Bedrock." This type of statement pick-up line doesn't make it easy for a girl to respond. When a pick-up line is in the form of a question it fosters conversation.For example, if you use the pick-up line "Do I look fat in these jeans?" you make it very easy for the girl to engage in conversation.2) The pick-up line should be humorous and tasteful....(related: Dating)
Little Known Dating Tips, Secrets, And Dating Mistakes
I hear it over and over-"It was going so great, and then she disappeared on me? why? What happened-we were having such a great time together. I'm tired of this happening-I want to date sexy women, but I want them to stick a...(related: Dating)
Dress For Dating Success: Clothes To Attract The Man Of Your Dreams
In order to attract the man of your dreams, it helps to dress in a way that honors your beautiful body. When I use the word "honor," I don't mean you should dress like a nun or hide yourself in an ankle-length skirt and a turtleneck.But you should wear only clothes that make the best of your unique shape. Too many fleshy women (and there are lots of men who prefer robust females over skimpier lasses) are currently wandering the planet in low-rise jeans and tank tops, which results in a phenomenon known as "muffin top." In other words, they're walking around with a wedge of flab over their waistbands. Not a good look.Before you hop on whatever trend they're pushing in InStyle magazine, ask yourself if the look works for you and your beautiful body. I once read an interv...(related: Dating)
Dear Soulmate
Dear Soulmate,Where are you?? It seems as if I have been searching for you my entire adult life. I am writing this so you will know that I am not giving up on my search for you. I know you wont give up on me either. Sometimes I wonder if we may have already met, maybe in passing. We might have even had a moment of recognition and realization, but we were so busy in our daily lives that it became a passing thought. A look and smile and nothing more. Other times I feel you are probably out the...(related: Dating)
Avoiding The Grand Manipulator
Let's face it...some women can be ruthless. There are certain women in the world men simply DO NOT want to get mixed up with. I call these women "grand manipulators" because they will use every trick they can think of to get you to do what they want, when they want, and how they want.I once knew a woman who was the epitome of manipulation. Her view of men was that they were a necessary evil to get the things out of life she wanted. She would use them, abuse them, and then kick them to the curb once they had served their purpose.In the beginning of the relationship she always seemed to be a sweet, caring, nurturing woman to the men she chose as her prey. Once she'd gotten what she wanted from them she'd turn into a screaming witch of a woman in order to drive the man away from her.For instance, she once decided she needed a ...(related: Dating)
The Traditional Jewish Dating
In as much as they want to preserve the moral and ethical values of each Jew, Jewish tradition demand that dating between men an...(related: Dating)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | All Rights Reserved. | Dating